Relationships as Lessons | Liberty

Lesson 5.
Relationships as lessons – a source of experience and strength.

Those who annoy us are our best teachers.

Relationships not going well?

Is someone offending you or perhaps really annoying you? You get offended, irritated, quarrel, try to defend your rights, but this only tightens the knot. It doesn’t get better, you just get deeper and deeper into a bad relationship. And it’s not always possible to part with your “tormentor,” is it? And even if you break up, a replacement is surprisingly quickly found – someone very similar, who treats you just as badly.

It seems there is no way out – but there is one. Kryon constantly tells us something that we should not forget: people who annoy us, who seem to us tormentors, are actually our best teachers!

They did not come into our lives to torment us. They came into our lives to show us: we are not yet perfect enough, we are not yet harmonious, and this disharmony needs to be corrected.

No one appears in our lives by chance! People carry lessons for each other in their behavior. And if such teachers appear, it means we can’t live without them, it means we simply need them!

 “If a relationship has arisen, it means that you and this person fit together like a key to a lock, but you can also say it differently – like a hammer to a nail. This, as you understand, causes suffering.

Imagine: a nail does not understand why it is being hit. He may decide that the hammer is to blame. But he does not understand that as long as he remains a nail, there will always be a hammer that will hit him. We need to change, get away from this form and turn into something else!

And if it’s difficult for a nail, then the person can change. Man is given every opportunity to become almost everything he wants to become and solve all the problems he wants to solve.”

If you have a problem, you know about it and are trying to solve it, you don’t need teachers. You are moving in the right direction even without them. But if there is a problem that you are not aware of (or, let’s say, not a problem, but a “weak spot” that needs to be strengthened), if you not only are not going to solve this problem, but do not even see it, a “teacher” will definitely appear, which will somehow point you to this problem.

He can do this in two ways: by acting as your reflection, or as a catalyst for the problem, the one who manifests it.

In the first case, the person exhibits the same disharmonious quality that you have. If you do not recognize this quality in yourself, such a person usually irritates you very much, causing your dissatisfaction and indignation. But it’s worth asking yourself the question: “What is it about me that he reflects?” – and think about the answer. This answer is not always on the surface. But if you ask the question, you will find it. And you will begin to work on restoring your disharmony. Then this person will either change in an amazing way, or change his attitude towards you, or simply disappear from your life.

In the second case, the person constantly creates situations in which your disharmonious quality is manifested. It literally provokes you to express it. Instead of getting offended, ask yourself, “What do I need to learn? What should I do, how should I behave, so as not to succumb to these provocations? When you find the strength to hold the light and love and not show dissonant emotions, this person will stop pestering you.

You will do a lot for yourself if:

– accept as a lesson the undesirable attitude of another person towards you (this does not mean that you should consider such an attitude correct),
– you will not show dissonant emotions in response, but instead mentally thank this person for the lesson.

Gratitude is the power that knocks the “weapon” out of the enemy’s hands. Gratitude is the power that will protect you. Gratitude is a power that can transform any energy into the light and love of God.

Exercise 1
Practice gratitude for the lessons other people teach you.

Be alone with yourself. If you want, close your eyes. Imagine a person with whom you have an unwanted relationship. Remember all your feelings associated with this person. Determine where the dissonant energies associated with these unpleasant sensations are located in your inner space. Bring the energies of light and love from your Divine Center to this area.

Imagine this person again. Send him the energies of light and love from your heart. Add your gratitude to these energies. Silently or out loud, say, “Thank you for the lesson you provided me with. Thank you for the fact that the problems and troubles you caused contribute to my enlightenment, spiritual growth and development. Thank you for identifying my weak points and now I know what I need to work on.

Thank you for giving me this challenge that made me stronger. What you gave me was for my good! I thank you for this.”

If your gratitude is sincere, you will feel how the dissonant energies in your inner space are transformed into light or simply dissolved!

What seems to be a struggle between people is actually a struggle between energies. And energies can be transformed.

A very important truth that Kryon brings: everything that happens between people sometimes seems to be a struggle between people – but this is not a struggle of people, it is a struggle of energies.

Do you remember what the essence of the experiment conducted by human angels on planet Earth is? This is a test of energies, it is a test of the ability of high Divine energies to triumph over the low energies of the material world. This is a collision where the energies of light and love sharpen their powers and increase their capabilities.

For such a test, there must be among people carriers of oppositely charged energies, relatively speaking – light and dark, or, according to Kryon, Divine energies of love and light and dissonant energies. And each of us can be a carrier of one energy or another, right? So the struggle is not only between people, but also within each person!

Therefore, try, as far as possible, to avoid personal hostility towards the people who are dragging you into this fight. Try not to take it personally as a person, not to react in a personal way at all.

Remind yourself as often as possible that this is a struggle of energies, not a struggle of people!

Then it will be easier for you to abstract yourself from some personal emotions, and you will be able to transform energies instead of fighting them. After all, any energy can be transformed into light and love. And if another person p****s you off with his annoying behavior, and you perceive this as a lesson and do not succumb to provocation – in this way you are already transforming energies. The practice outlined in the following exercise will help you do this more effectively.

Exercise 2
Transforming dissonant energies to improve relationships.

Stay alone with yourself, take a comfortable position, breathe deeply and measuredly to calm down, relax and neutralize extraneous thoughts. Connect with your Divine center, ask the Creator to envelop you in a cocoon of energies of love and light and let these energies into your cells.

Think about relationships that you would like to improve. Say mentally or out loud: “Creator, I know: this is not a struggle of people – this is a struggle of energies. Help me transform dissonant energies into light and love.”

Think about the unpleasant feelings and dissonant emotions that arise in connection with this relationship. Do you feel offended, angry, offended, humiliated, irritated?

Focus on the area of your body where you feel these energies are most noticeable. Direct the energies of love and gratitude there from your heart with the thought (or words): “I am grateful to you (the name of the person with whom these feelings arose in you) for allowing these dissonant energies to manifest themselves in me (name: grievances, indignation, etc. – depending on the feelings you experience). You did this for my own good.

But now the lesson is over. I deserve better treatment. I no longer need the dissonant energies you deliver. Now I accept the good for myself and wish the good for you.”

Imagine that between you and this person there is a wall of bright white shining energy – this is the love and light of God, in which everything negative that connected you burns away. At the same time, dissonant energies are transformed into love and light in your inner space. Observe this as if from the outside, through the eyes of your Divine Self.

Then say: “Creator, accept the energies of dissonant feelings, transformed into love and light. Dissolve the remaining dissonant energies in love and light. Fill my heart and every cell of mine with the energies of love and light. From now on, between me and (person’s name) there is only love and light. Let it be so”.

Repeat the exercise until you feel that you have become calm, peaceful and warm towards the one who previously drove you crazy. After this, your relationship will either improve or end peacefully.

Develop self-awareness as the master of your life.

All the lessons that other people teach us are aimed, in essence, at one thing: the victory of love and light over all dissonant energies. Other people, by creating problems for us, show us those areas in which we have not yet learned to show love and light. Anyone who doesn’t show us the best attitude seems to be saying: “Look, here you still don’t have enough love, and here too.”

And so it turns out that many of us do not have enough love in our relationships with ourselves. Because of this, we experience self-doubt, suffer from feelings of guilt, and find ourselves at the mercy of various kinds of manipulators. As a result, we cease to be the masters of our lives.

We simply give power over ourselves and our lives to other people. This happens to a huge number of people, but very often people do not realize that they do not belong to themselves.

Each of you is essentially the master of your own life, although you sometimes forget about it. And then it seems to you that someone else is leading your life. You begin to live with the consciousness of a v****m, although in reality you have never been a v****m. Remember this. Gain the consciousness of the creator and owner of your life. Come under the control of the Spirit. And you won’t have to depend on others. You don’t have to build your life trying to please society and adapt to it. You will gain freedom and independence.

Not your environment, not other people will be responsible for your happiness – you and only you will build your happiness. You will not give this responsibility to anyone and you will not allow anyone to influence you. You will no longer live in fear of whether society will accept you or not. Because your new self-awareness will also influence society.

It is very important to understand correctly: taking the attitude of other people as lessons and expressing gratitude for them is completely different from putting up with a bad attitude towards yourself.

Kryon constantly repeats that we deserve the best in everything, including relationships. But if the relationship is not going well, there is a reason for this. We can eliminate this cause, for which we first need to learn a lesson from troubles.

That is, we should not put up with these troubles, we should not suffer, suffer and say to ourselves “I don’t deserve better, that’s what I need.” No, no and NO! We must realize everything as it is: yes, this is not the best attitude towards me, yes, I deserve better. It is from this realization that we deserve better – and not at all from humility in the face of a bad attitude! – and real changes for the better begin.

Do not forget that you must put yourself at the center of your life, that is, become the master in your living space, the master of yourself, and not allow other people to be in charge where power rightfully belongs only to you.

Exercise 3
Become the master of your life.

Remember if there were situations in your life when you did something as your heart told you, even if others told you that you were wrong. But in the end you turned out to be right, because the heart does not deceive, because the voice of the heart is the voice of the Spirit.

Remember those situations when you trusted others more, or the preferences of society, and did not as your heart told you, but as others inspired you to do. You will understand that these were the wrong actions, they did not lead you to success, happiness, or anything you dreamed of.

Think about the challenges facing you now. How are you going to solve them – the way your heart tells you, the way it seems right to you, or the way it seems right to someone else?

Put yourself first, and think about how you can solve these problems in accordance with the promptings of the Spirit, in what seems right to you.

If you feel like you lack determination and self-confidence, go to the mirror and say out loud:

“I am an adult, free, independent, independent person. From now on, I regain the right to be the master of my life. I and only I, in co-creation with my Divine Spirit, control my life. I no longer allow anyone or anything to control my life. I live my life, and only my life. I don’t allow anyone or anything to lead me astray from my path or impose other people’s decisions on me. I make my own decisions in my life. I know better what is good for me and what is bad, what I need and what I don’t. I live guided only by my desire for love and light and the promptings of my Divine Self.”

Repeat these words whenever you need to find your path and make your own decisions without allowing others to lead you astray and control you.

Take back your power – free yourself from addictions and surrogates of love.

One of the most important and very common lessons that other people teach us is that we must take back our sense of self-worth, our power over ourselves and our lives, our freedom to be ourselves.

We cannot gain this freedom while we are captive of various kinds of addictions and pathological attachments to other people. What are pathological attachments?

These are all those emotions that are not based on unconditional love. Such attachments are fear, resentment, jealousy, the desire to obey or control, the desire to make a person your property, or to remake him “for yourself.” All this connects people and is sometimes mistaken for love. But in fact, this is not love – this is a relationship unworthy of a person.

Those relationships that are worthy of a person are equal, free, mutually respectful, based on the recognition of the Divine dignity of everyone. To do this, they must be based on unconditional love!

Examine all your relationships to see if there is unconditional love in them, or if they are based on some dissonant emotions. If a relationship is based on unconditional love, it brings only joy and happiness. If a relationship is causing you pain and suffering, it needs to be reconsidered. This is precisely your lesson.

Breaking pathological attachments means defending your Divinity, your right to be yourself and live in love. This also means regaining our strength, because such attachments and dependencies simply exhaust us, preventing us from fulfilling those tasks of the Spirit for which we came to Earth!

Exercise 4
Free yourself from addictions and pathological attachments.

Find an opportunity to be alone with yourself, take any comfortable position, close your eyes, drive away extraneous thoughts. Remember that you are the Divine Spirit, a luminous, eternal, invulnerable being. Remember that you are on a pedestal, at the center and in charge of your life.

Think about those people whose relationships cause you vague anxiety, worry, or with whom you are associated with dissonant emotions such as resentment, condemnation, irritation, or a feeling of inferiority. Another characteristic symptom of the presence of destructive, pathological attachments is a tendency to constant obsessive thoughts about this person.

You either conduct endless imaginary dialogues with him, or simply constantly think about his behavior, reflect on his reasons, even when you don’t want it.

The destructive attachment that takes away your power is maintained precisely because there are dissonant energies within you caused by corresponding emotions. There is something that causes pain in you associated with this person. Find the reason. Ask yourself the question: “Why am I hurting?”

Perhaps there is resentment associated with this person, or you feel unworthy, flawed, insufficiently complete next to him. These feelings may be deeply hidden. Find the strength to open them and acknowledge their existence.

Then ask the Almighty to give you energies of light and love that will help eliminate these dissonant emotions. Imagine a bright flash in which your feeling of resentment or humiliation, your condemnation and irritation, your anger and anger burns away.

Then imagine this person in front of you, and mentally place him inside a sphere shining with snow-white light. This is the light of Divine love. Say mentally or out loud: “You are free and I am free. From now on we are both free and self-sufficient. From now on we are bound only by Divine unconditional love and nothing else. I proclaim my inalienable right to live my life and only my life – and I give you the right to live yours and only your life.”

Imagine how the image of the one to whom you were addressing dissolves in a white radiance. Take a few deep breaths in and out, feel yourself rooted in your Divine center, feel the spiritual, energetic center within you. Then you can open your eyes.

Do this exercise every time you feel that draining and depressing attachments have re-emerged between you and other people.

Live by your will, say no to everything that harms you.

In order to be ourselves, live our lives and own our power without giving it away to others, we must learn to say “no” to everything that harms us or simply does not suit us. And this, too, is one of the most common lessons on Earth.

Many of us in our lives are faced with all sorts of manipulators who want to subjugate us or get something at our expense, trying to assert their power over us. Often such manipulators act unconsciously – simply out of habit, because for thousands of years people have been divided into those who control and those who obey, and this was considered the norm.

But in fact, this is not the norm, and in the energies of the new time, all the depravity of the previous system of relationships becomes clearer than ever.

It’s time to regain power over yourself and your life, it’s time to learn to defend your freedom and independence, it’s time to get up from your knees for all those who are used to living in subordination!

The habit of submission is inappropriate for the new Earth, for the earthly paradise that we are all called to build on the planet.

Exercise 5.
Learn to say “no” to everything that is unacceptable to you.

Remember those situations in your life when something went wrong, when circumstances began to turn out not in your favor, when you were not at all where you wanted. Remember the moment at which this development of events began. This was your moment of choice. This was the moment when it was up to you to go one way or the other, to say yes or no, to choose what serves you or what could work against you.

Surely your intuition and various signs along your path told you that you were making the wrong choice. What stopped you from saying no? False sense of duty? Fear? Do you want to please someone or keep someone in your life? Fear of retribution, punishment?

Mentally return to this situation and imagine that you said “no”, thereby refusing an unfavorable choice. “Replay” this situation as if you are rewriting the past – as if it were a scene of a play that you played then one way, and now you want to replay it differently. “Rehearse” it by saying “no” in several different ways, for example: “I won’t do it,” “I don’t want to,” “I have other plans,” “I don’t like it,” etc.

Be sure to say it out loud, and preferably in front of a mirror. In this way, you will develop a model for the manifestation of your true will, and this model will subsequently work in real-life circumstances. It will be imprinted in your subconscious that you know how to show will, you know how to say “no,” and you will do this much easier than before.

Then think about those situations in your present when you do or say things you don’t want to do. Imagine that you show your will in them too, say “no” to what does not suit you or is unacceptable to you. Rehearse these situations too. When you’re ready, exercise your will in real life by rejecting choices that are unfavorable to you and choosing only what suits you.

Summary. 

Difficult relationships always carry an important lesson for us. To pass it correctly and become stronger, you need to:

– be grateful to those who teach us lessons,
– perceive complex relationships not as a struggle of people, but as a struggle of energies over which you have power, since you can transform them,
– develop self-awareness as the master of your life,
– free yourself from addictions, pathological attachments, and such surrogates of love as jealousy, a sense of ownership, the desire to rule or obey,
– learn to say “no” to everything that harms you or simply does not suit you.

(translation from book “Kryon. Create a space of happiness and success around you! 10 Most Important Lessons)

With Love, Liberty

“Island of Light” in English
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