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Taking the Remote Back: Understanding Why People “Push Your Buttons”
We have all experienced those moments where a comment from a colleague, a gesture from a stranger, or a specific tone from a family member sends us spiraling into frustration or upset. In common parlance, we say that person “pushed our buttons.” It is a phrase that implies we are passive observers to our own emotional reactions, suggesting that someone else holds the remote control to our internal state. However, a profound shift occurs when we realize that for a button to be pushed, we must be the ones presenting it to the world.
As highlighted in the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, the presence of a “button” is a signal of our own internal landscape. If we feel triggered by someone else’s behavior, it is an invitation to look inward rather than outward. When we put a “great big button” out there—whether it is a sensitivity about our competence, a fear of being overlooked, or an old insecurity—we are essentially advertising our vulnerabilities. If that button didn’t exist within our own vibration or self-perception, the actions of others would simply bounce off us without a second thought.
This perspective is not about blaming ourselves for our reactions, but rather about reclaiming our personal power. When we blame others for how we feel, we make our happiness dependent on their behavior—a strategy that rarely leads to peace. By acknowledging that we are the ones “putting the button out there,” we realize that we also have the power to retract it. When we work on our self-esteem, resolve past grievances, and align with our own sense of well-being, the button begins to shrink. Eventually, it disappears altogether.
Ultimately, the goal of emotional maturity is to reach a state where we are “unpushable.” This doesn’t mean we become cold or indifferent; rather, it means we become so secure in our own energy that the external world no longer dictates our internal peace. If you find yourself frequently reacting to the world around you, take a moment to pause and ask what button you are displaying. By focusing on your own growth and healing, you take the remote control back and ensure that your joy remains firmly in your own hands.
[Reference]:
When it feels to you as if someone is pushing your button, realize that you are the one with a great big button out there that is just begging to be pushed. If you don’t put it out there, no one will push it.
Excerpted from San Francisco, CA on 3/8/14
Our Love,
Esther
(and Abraham and Jerry)
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